Dark Thoughts
by Gining
Summary: Oneshot. Auron lived after the defeat of Sin. But what if the one person he cared about didn't? Hints at aurikku Special thanks to rr1963


Disclaimer and (long) A/n: Gin does not own the characters or places in this fic. She doesn't even own the idea for it. You can thank rr1963. I was reading his story Soldier Of Spira when I thought "Hey, I like that idea. I think I wanna expand on what he started." So I asked his permission if I could use it. (Thank you) and he said yes. I have seen so many fic where Auron is waiting for Rikku, but what if they were reversed? What if she was waiting for him? Now that sounded like a nifty idea. Well I guess by reading that you can tell this is going to be aurikku. Then again, how often do I write anything else? So if you do not like the pairing, I would advise you to find something else. But if you do stay, please after you read this go read SoS. You won't regret it!

Now, real quick, I want to explain something about Auron. He is old in this, but that does not mean he is weak. Far from it. I pictured him as a sort of Batman Beyond Bruce Wayne. Older, but still sharp. Not totally feeble, can still move on his own, though age has gotten to him. He still hates to dwell on the past, but sometimes can't help it.

* * *

Age caught up with him, just as he knew it would. His dark hair was now fully silver. Not a trace of the black could be seen. It was held back by a leather strip at the nape of his neck like he always wore. Glasses still sat perched upon his nose hiding the scar he received so many years ago.

Rain hit against the window as he watched it fall. It was a day just like this when he had failed, over forty years ago. A reflection in the glass caught his attention, and he allowed himself to turn his head to see Yuna standing in the doorway.

"Thinking again?" She questioned.

"It's all I ever do anymore, Yuna."

She came closer to him and leaned down in front of him. She had aged more gracefully then he had. Though her body had changed somewhat. Hips widened showing that she had given birth several times. Wrinkles adorned her eyes, but in a way to make her appear more mature if anything else. She looked at him with a kindness in her bi-colored eyes. "How long has it been, Sir Auron. Thirty years, thirty-one?"

"Forty-one today." He replied almost automatically.

"Tidus says it's not good for you to dwell on it like this. And I have to agree. I think it's time we take a trip." She smiled softly and tilted her head to the side awaiting his response.

"I'm too old for trips. Besides, you two do enough for me as it is. I do not care to be a burden any more then I must."

"Hey, old man. If you were a burden we would have kicked you out long time ago." A new voice chimed in.

Yuna turned her body to see her husband enter. She gave him one of her soft, but sad smiles to let him know she wasn't having much luck.

"He won't go?" She shook her head. "What a shame, we had this all planned out and everything."

"Tidus, Yuna." Auron interrupted. Both of them turned to him. Yuna's smile faded at his next phrase. "All I want is to pass away in quiet obscurity. My time here should have been over years ago."

"But it hasn't." Yuna whispered. "You helped defeat Sin and lived. You helped us as the first years of the Eternal Calm was full of conflicts and factions fighting to control Spira. Your wisdom helped us overcome all that. Even now, you help us as you give out needed hints of advice when you see we are about to make mistakes. Your time isn't over yet." Thunder crashed just as she finished her speech giving the air of melodrama.

"That's right!" Tidus agreed. He reached out and helped his wife stand again. He wrapped one arm around her waist as he spoke again, "You need to get out anyway. Get away from all the politics around here. Besides, I know you will be happy once we arrive where we are going."

"And you're not going to tell me where this is, are you?" Auron guessed.

"Nope." Tidus grinned as he and Yuna left the room.

"I should have known." He grumbled when they were gone. But just to make them happy, he stood from his seat. He reached for his walking cane and slowly made his way to his room. He might as well get ready. Who knew what those two might have planned?

--

_"See, took some work, but they finally convinced him to come." A gruff voice said._

_"But he doesn't even know where he's going. Is that even fair?" _

_"Who cares? You do want to see him, don't you?"_

_"Of course. But.."_

_"Hey, no buts. This isn't the place." He stopped her before she could continue her thought._

_"Jecht, don't tease. This is hard enough on her as it is."_

_"Yeah, yeah. I know. Is he still dwelling on letting her die?"_

_"I believe he is. That's why my daughter and your son had such a hard time getting him to come." Braska answered._

_"But I don't blame him. I never did. We knew what might happen. I was foolish, I thought I was invincible. I was wrong."_

_"Don't get so down. Even Braska and I failed. We thought that if we kept going on the path we were on, we could defeat sin for good. In the end, I became Sin and ended up causing more trouble."_

_Braska laughed at Jecht's attempt to cheer her up. "That is true. So you see, even we were foolish. We never listened when Auron protested. In the end, he was right and we were wrong."_

_--_

Three days passed before they were able to leave. The boat would take them directly to Luca, thus bypassing Kilika. Auron watched the scenery pass by as memories filled his mind.

This was where Jecht had seen a Spira gull for the first time.

Here was where he stood as Braska filmed Jecht so Tidus could see the sphere when he turned old enough.

Over there was where she... No, living in the past was futile. He himself had said that once.

Tidus came up the stairs behind him as he watched the ship pull into the port at Luca. Without Sin coming and wiping people out, the city had gotten bigger.

"Ready? We have a lot of ground to cover before night."

Auron grunted acknowledging that he had heard. He turned away from the sight in front of him, and followed the blond. Tidus led him to where Yuna was waiting. She had a smile on her face as she stood next to a chocobo drawn carriage. "I thought Sir Auron might like it." She said as she held her hand out to the carriage.

"Thank you, Yuna. Your thoughtfulness is appreciated." Auron replied as he stepped into it. It was open so they would be able to see and hear all that went on around them. A bridge had been built over the Djose river so they would be able to ride directly to the moonflow without any stops along the way. From there Tidus planned on resting and starting again in the morning.

"Alright! Let's go!" He said with a little too much enthusiasm.

It was mostly small talk in the carriage. Comments on the weather and what not. Auron had to admit he rather enjoyed the ride. He set his cane on the floor and leaned back in his seat. The sun on his face was pleasant, she would have enjoyed it.

He mentally slapped himself before that thought went any farther. It had been forty-one years. Why did he insist on thinking about her all the time? He always told others not to think about the past, yet he couldn't even take his own advice. He sighed to himself. She consumed his thoughts more often then not anymore. Little things would remind him of her, the way the sun shone, the way a bird sang when he was near. The smell of something cooking, she was always a very good cook on the pilgrimage.

--

_"See, told ya he misses you." Jecht nudged the girl standing next to him._

_"I know. I never said I doubted you!" She protested. _

_"She does have a point, Jecht." Braska added. "Look, they are stopping for the night. Not much else to be seen now. Let's let them rest." He suggested._

_The two men moved away leaving her alone._

_"Hey! You coming?"_

_"You go on ahead. I'll catch up later." She called back to him._

_Braska nodded in understanding. "We will do that then. Jecht, let's go."_

_She watched as Auron lay down to sleep next to the moonflow. She wished so bad that she might be able to join him, but leaving the farplane was a lot harder then she knew. Being as she tried as soon as she arrived, only to find herself thrown back near the falls. It was there that Braska and Jecht had found her. Over the years they had formed a bond between the three of them. They all had things they could relate to in one another's lives. Then again, it was Sin-Jecht that had killed her._

_--_

Yuna and Tidus stayed up to talk a little more before they headed to bed themselves. "He misses her. Can you see it?"

"Yeah, I see it. Sometimes I miss her too though. She really helped us a lot, you know?"

Yuna leaned her head on his shoulder. "I know." She whispered She brushed a stray tear away before standing. "Perhaps we should head to bed ourselves. We have a long day ahead of us."

"You're right. Let's go, Yuna." Together they lay down dreaming about what the next day might hold.

--

Auron awoke as soon as the sun rose. He had always been an early riser. He pulled his cane close and used it to help himself to his feet. Tidus and Yuna were still sleeping. A slight pain in his chest made him pause for just a moment. His heart was shutting down. That was to be expected. He welcomed the sign of death. He had been waiting for it for so long. He could never bring himself to take his own life, that would have been shameful. But it seemed as if his body just wouldn't stop working, until now.

Pushing aside those thoughts, he got to work setting up a fire. Yuna would be up soon enough to make breakfast. He was not far off in his guess. For as soon as he had gathered the wood, she lifted her head.

"Sir Auron? What are you doing?"

"Just getting things ready. I am not so old I can't help you out from time to time." He replied.

Unsure what to say, Yuna could only thank him.

After eating, the trio boarded the shoopuf. Tidus explained how he wanted to ride it again for old times sake. He talked about what it was like when they were together the first time, and how Rikku had attacked them in an attempt to save Yuna. If was funny hearing it again, even Auron laughed lightly. From there they pressed on...

Until they reached Guadosalam. Auron stopped as soon as he realized what they had planned. He had not been here in forty-one years. Even then he refused to enter. They planned this trip so he could see her again. His eye searched them demanding answers as they stood waiting for him.

Tidus was the first to speak. He scratched his head, "I guess we should have asked you first?"

"That might have been wise." He agreed.

"But since we are here, we might as well go in." Yuna tried to encourage. "Besides, I would like to speak to my father once again. Tidus, would you like to see Jecht?"

"You're going to make me even if I don't, aren't you?" He groaned.

--

_"Look, here they come!" She shouted as she pointed at the doorway between worlds._

_"So they are. My little Yuna has really grown up. Haven't seen her here in years. Not since her kids were little." He chuckled as he watched her pull Tidus in behind her. "Still afraid is he?"_

_"Not my boy!" Jecht argued. _

_She giggled, a light sound that lifted your spirits when you were down. "If it weren't for the fact I was dead, I wouldn't even be here myself."_

_Braska began to fade from between them and they recognized it as the call from the living. Not long after Jecht began to fade as well._

_"It would appear my son wants to see me after all." He joked before he was gone._

_She stood alone waiting for him to call her too. She could see him standing alone. Just watching and waiting patently for the couple. Her head dropped and eyes closed when she realized he wasn't there for her._

_Tidus and Yuna were finishing up now. They were saying their good-byes. The two men smiled at her once they returned._

_"Your turn now." Braska said softly._

_She could only stare at him dumbly until she felt the calling. Tidus and Yuna were gone, but a single person stood in front of her. He leaned heavily on the cane in his hand as he spoke._

_--_

"You are still as beautiful as the day you left us. Don't know what you ever saw in an old man such as I, but I dare not question it. I have lived on, just as I promised I would. It was one of the few I managed to keep." He chuckled softly. Auron then went sober and stared at the girl floating in front of him. "I never got to say sorry for not protecting you. It was the one promise I broke and it cost your life. I have never been able to forgive myself for it. Maybe some day." He nodded once, having said what needed to be said.

The figure in front of him disappeared as he left the rock that supported visitors. It was time for him to go back to the living. Tidus and Yuna stood on the stairs waiting for him.

"You done?" Yuna asked. "I reserved a room at the inn for us. We can head home in the morning."

"Very sound idea. I believe I may have overdone it. I am... a little tired." Auron answered as he led the way to the inn. His chest had begun to feel tight again. His time was closing to an end. But his pride prevented him from saying anything to the couple with him. They would only worry and fret over him. He didn't want that.

--

"You know, I really don't think she blames you for what happened." Tidus spoke as they sat around just before turning in for bed that night. He hated seeing his mentor looking so dejected all the time because of something that happened so long ago.

"I would rather we not discuss this, if you don't mind." Auron warned him. It was hard enough as it was, he didn't need the younger man telling him how she did or didn't feel. He could judge that on his own,

"No, I think we should. Sir Auron," Yuna cut in. "I loved her too, not the same way you did, but she was there for me. In the end, she sacrificed her life so I could defeat Sin and we could all be happy. Even you."

"You too, Yuna? Very well. We will talk." He took a deep breath and began to tell all about the love he lost so long ago.

It was late in the night when they finally fell asleep. They all had dreams of the person who left them much sooner then she should have. Auron tried to dream, but soon the pain in his chest would not let him. He was dieing and there was nothing any one could do for him. Not that he wanted them to. He would be free from the burdens of life now. He would be able to join his love knowing that he had filled the one promise he made to her, to live.

Yuna found him the next morning. His body stiff, but a peaceful expression on his face. She knew right away, he had died. It was not as sad as she expected it to be. He had wanted this for so long, why should anyone force him to stay? This was right. This was the way it was meant to be. She smiled to herself as she began to dance the sending.

--

_"About time you arrived." He turned to see a blond young woman tapping her foot. "Just where have you been?"_

_"Allow me to explain. I made a promise a long time ago."_

_She held one hand up signaling she didn't want to hear any more. "I know all about your promises. And.." She paused, "I'm glad. I always wanted you to know what it was like to live. To really live."_

_"Rikku, I.." He tried again._

_She giggled as his attempt. _

_"Just get over there and kiss her already." Someone shouted from behind._

_"Jecht, will you ever mind your own business?" Braska interrupted._

_"Yeah, yeah. I get it. Fine, do what you want. I'm going!"_

_Rikku laughed again as she watched them go. She looked over the man in front of her. He was no longer gray and full of wrinkles. He was younger, appearing very much like the day she had first met him. "I've had a long time to think about things. Also I can see why you liked them so much. Braska really is a very gentle man. Jecht may be a big mouth, but he does care. And I mean a lot."_

_"Rikku, you talk too much." Auron smirked at her reaction._

_"I can't believe you said that!"_

_"I have learned much in living. One of them being this." He reached a hand out and grabbed her wrist. Pulling her close he pressed his lips to hers in a very passionate way. He broke apart in time to say three little words. "E muja oui."_

_Before she could respond, he had claimed her lips as his own once again._

_"See told ya he missed her." Jecht could be heard saying as the newly found couple walked away to catch up with one another again. And no matter what happened, they had all the time in the world._


End file.
